Tuesday, September 4, 2012

We Found Love in Rosy-Colored Glasses

Today, I discovered Lindsey Stirling. She is an amazing contemporary violinist!!! She has remade songs by Nicki Minaj and Bruno Mars, and even has her own version of the Party Rock Anthem. But, this is my favorite find, a remake of Rihanna's "We Found Love," featuring citizens from a small area of Kenya, to whom she brought the music of the violin to for the first time.




Lindsey Stirling: "We Found Love"






I have watched this video about six times now. Every time I watch it, I wish I was there. I was a public high school teacher for a year before coming to medical school, and I loved the day to day interaction with the kids, and the excited feeling I got when I saw that light bulb of learning flash on! When I see the classroom in this video, the students learning, wearing uniforms, united in their pursuit of an education and better life, it makes me so happy for the world. The news is so focused on the negative, that I gave up watching it about two years ago. Yes, our economy is in a rut, we are continuously at war, the crime and drug rates feel like they are at all time highs. Basically, the world sucks. But then, you watch a video like this, depicting a culture that was once depressed, war-ridden, and unable to obtain an education. You see the smile and joy on a child's face, and it is the quintessence of all things pure and good. You see culture, color, tradition, and a way of life. This is the kind of video that should be playing on the nightly news. I want to see the people that go out in this world and make it better. You don't have to do something world-renowned that is going to go down in history books. You can do something simple. You can play a song. You can introduce an instrument to a new culture. You can sit around a fire, dance, share stories, and even if you don't speak the same language, you are united in laughter and the celebration of life.

When I applied to med school, I was rejected from UNC for one reason: my view on the world. My first interview was with the Dean of the medical school, talk about pressure! At the end, he congratulated me on my excellent scholarship and application and told me how he hoped to see me in Tarheel blue for the next four years. I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, the Dean cannot represent candidates for admission, and my second interviewer would be taking my file to the committee. She was an emergency medicine physician who had just gotten off of a 36 hour shift. Needless to say, she was exhausted. She asked me the standard "Why do you want to go into medicine?" and I gave her my answer. She stopped me halfway through my answer, took off her glasses, rubbed her eyes, and sighed. She said, "You look at medicine through rosy-colored glasses. I don't think you're ready to be a doctor."

I had never heard that expression before, so I responded, "Rosy-colored glasses? What do you mean?"

She said, "Do you really think you are going to help people all of the time? Don't you know how many negatives there are in this field?"






I was shocked.

1. This was my med school interview. What candidate is going to waltz in there and say, "I know how bad my life is going to suck for the next... well, forever. I know a career in medicine will leave me hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, make relationships harder to maintain than normal, will make me chronically sleep-deprived and stressed, and will be extremely sad and frustrating at times." NO ONE. NO ONE is going to do that. At least, not anyone smart enough to get into med school.

2. I have seen death and dying. I have experienced the negatives. First, I was a patient.  I thought doctors were terrifying and cruel and uncaring. I actually asked a doctor if he planned on killing me once. Second, I have seen families crying for loved ones, and I have cried for loved ones. The first patient that I ever had die was a six-month old, who had sustained injuries from an abusive father. I've worked with transplant patients, seen them deteriorate, seen them turn yellow and grey, and then white from calcium literally seeping out of their skin.

So, what? Why should I focus on this? Why should I focus on the negative? Growing up, when I had a particularly bad day and all I wanted to do was gripe and moan about it, my mom would literally stop me and say, "STOP! Name three good things that happened today!!!!" And I would. And slowly, I started being able to focus on the positive.

So, how did I answer this interviewer's question? Unfortunately, I answered it very poorly, even though I knew my real answer. Like I said, I was shocked and gave her some BS about knowing how I was going to be a great doctor and I was ready to face the challenges along with the triumphs, and blah blah blah, pretty cliche stuff.

If given the chance to do it all over again, here is my answer for her.

"Yes, Doctor, I do have rosy-colored glasses, and I see nothing wrong with that. In fact, I am proud of my abilities to wear these glasses, because they help me strive to see the good in people, and be a better person myself, which will ultimately make me a damn good physician. I have seen death be gruesome, painful, and traumatizing to those left behind. But, I have also seen death be peaceful, poetic, and almost beautiful. I have experienced sickness, as a patient, too tired to stand, bruised from blood draws, bloated from water retention, fragile from weight loss. But, I have experienced the joy and relief that comes with prayers being answered in the form of a wonderful physician, who literally changed my life.  I have seen a child die from non-compliance and acute renal failure following a kidney transplant. But, I have seen children, who were born without kidneys, receive organ transplants, and add years onto their lives. I have had a child -- who had undergone over 100 surgeries, had two kidney transplants fail, and had to receive daily dialysis for over 16 years -- hold my hand and comfort me because I was terrified for my life on a hot air balloon ride. I have seen cancer leech onto a human soul and invade every crevice of a body. But, I have seen patients wage war against it, refuse to lose, battle to the brink of death, and win. Forgive me, Doctor, if I choose to focus on the battles won, the lives saved, and the miracles and gifts that medicine can provide. Believe me, I have learned from the hardships and I will never forget how it feels to be a vulnerable patient. You can also believe that I will never ever be a doctor who allows her patients or staff to focus on the negative. I will never ask a medical student to tell me about the negatives of this honored profession, nor shall I diminish and belittle the thought of helping people.  I will wear my rosy-colored glasses every single day, and I will try my hardest to represent this profession to the best of my abilities, as I try to do in all aspects of life. Besides, these rosy-colored glasses look great on me -- pink is one of my favorite colors." 

It is important to be realistic. And it is important to be aware of the negative, learn how to deal with the negative, and most importantly, learn how to move on from the negative.

I think this "We Found Love" video is a beautiful reminder of how joyous and fulfilling life can be, even amongst hardship and without a lot of material goods. When I watch this video, I wish I was there, providing medical care to these kids, while they taught me more than I could ever imagine teaching them. This video should remind us all to put on our rosy-colored glasses. Does their classroom look like the one you had growing up? How old were you when you first heard a violin? Did your babydoll look like the one that child has? Did your clothes fit you? Did you have shoes?

Maybe if we supported and publicized more acts of kindness, and if more people got fame from their good deeds and community outreach, then more people would be inspired to do good, and I could watch the news again. Or go for a run after dark when I visit home. But, that's just me, rockin' my rosy-colored glasses.


World looks beautiful with them and without them, here!
This girl knows what's up!


Rosy-colored glasses, 70s style


 
Rosy-colored glasses: Taylor Swift style


Rosy-colored glasses: My Interviewer's style





2 comments:

  1. This is such an inspirational post - particularly your response!! Thank you so much for sharing this, I'm going to bookmark it to look back on whenever I get overwhelmed with the negativity :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post is AMAZING, and precisely what I needed right now. We all could use some rosy-colored glasses sometime, and girl... NEVER lose yours. It's part of what makes you such a beautiful person inside and out, and you're right: even though some days will test you, you are going to be a phenomenal doctor, the kind we need more of in the world.

    Thank you so much for sharing that video and your thoughts. It literally made my day. Sending love, thanks, and happy thoughts your way. :)

    -K

    ReplyDelete