You know you're a med student when...

Yesterday, my family and I were driving in the car and I looked at the stereo system.

It read: 71 º , NE.

You know you're a med student when you automatically think "71 º, Norepinephrine,"  instead or "71 º, Northeast." This got me thinking about all of the weird things I do, probably because:

1. I am a medical student.

2. I am a really big nerd. 

I came home and googled "You know you're a med student when..." and came across a really depressing version, where the top reason was something like "you know you're a med student when 80% of your male colleagues will marry a nurse and 80% of your female colleagues won't marry at all." Yikes. So, after consulting some of my fellow classmates and contemplating the weird things that I do, I decided to create my own list.

You know you're a med student when:

1. You are in a car and think "norepinephrine" when you see "NE," instead of "northeast."

2. You see the following pattern on a papertowel and think "cholesterol."

3. You wake up terrified because you dreamed about forgetting to turn in homework or studying for a test for a class that you didn't even realize you were enrolled in... and then you realize it's summer.

4. You buy your first wrinkle cream and start checking for grey hair at the age of 23 because you're convinced med school adds 40 years to people.

5. People ask you what you do for fun, and you say, "SLEEP."

6. You look forward to family reunions so that you can offer free physicals to practice your exam skills... and you actually think this is a good idea, until you see the look on your mother's face.

7. You forget how to describe the locations of things without using the terms "superior, inferior, lateral, medial, anterior, posterior, etc."

8. You can't eat your roast beef sandwich because when you take the bread off to add mustard, it reminds you of the brachial plexus you just spent four hours dissecting.

9. You walk out of cadaver lab to the lockers, and think there is a blood clot on the floor... then realize it's a piece of brownie.

10. You own the following shoes, and you love them:

11. You wish you could listen to everyone on double speed.

12. You look at cross section of a penis, and compare it to Kanye West.

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/8/3/84f15104-2ad4-4a42-a225-da9fd8755e49.jpg

13. You feel socially incompetent around non-medical people because you can't shut off the Med School Button, and therefore do not know what to talk about.

14. Because you can't shut off the Med School Button, you continually see the blank stares from your family and friends because they are totally tuned out to you... but you keep describing a disease or pathway anyway. It's good review.

Every med student needs THIS button!

15. One of your favorite games to play is "What would I name my kid: (Insert Med School Class Here) Version".

Neuroscience version: Tentorium Cerebelli

Anatomy version: Gubernaculum 

Pharmacology: Allegra

16. You thank your kidneys every time you pee while intoxicated. They just function so well!

17. The morning after you drink, you see the Tylenol bottle and automatically think "CYP, GSH, NAC, liver toxicity," as you reach past it for Aleve or ibuprofen.

18. You turn in your last final, and then somebody hands you 1200 pages of notes for one class, in case you want to read it over Christmas break.

19. You think you have every disorder that you read about. And when someone calls you a hypochondriac, you secretly think, "Yes, but "hypochondriac" also refers to the upper lateral sections of the abdomen, on either side of the epigastric area, below the rib cartilage."

http://shs.westport.k12.ct.us/forensics/02-evidence/regions_&_quadrants.gif

20. You can't eat eggs or fungus because you know too much "science-y" stuff about them.

21. You are excited when you get to shower before an exam, because it is a sign you feel "prepared."

22. Your friends text you pictures of random body parts and want a diagnosis and treatment plan. And they stop going to real doctor, because they think they can just ask you.

23. Your family asks you about all of their health problems during the holiday dinner. And then you make up something that sounds legit... and then tell them that you don't really know anything. Unfortunately, you've just lost your appetite because your great grandmother spent 20 minutes describing every colonoscopy she's ever received.

24. You know that "Army over Navy" and "Tom, Dick, and nervous Harry" don't refer to the military or three men.

25. You close your eyes at night and random body parts pop into your head, you start dissecting them and labeling them, and you are completely okay with this because you count it as studying. 

To be continued...