The Dreaded Double Negative... English Rant

Did you ever have that one professor, one boss, one family member who just made everything more difficult? The one that could never be straightforward? The one that made you internally cringe every time his mouth opened because you feared what awkwardness would come out of it?

If you are picturing someone right now, well, that stinks for you! I have never known anyone like this (Please note my sarcasm...). 

I am studying for my clinical course... just diligently reading away at my notes... being bombarded by facts and dosages and numerical cut-offs and EKG algorithms... when I come across this sentence:

EKG at rest without angina present not uncommonly is normal.

While this makes complete sense to me, and I truly do understand the choice of words, I just want to throw it out there that double negatives, more often than not, are ridiculous.

Now, in this case, to take the double negative out and say that "EKG at rest without angina present commonly is normal" would be incorrect, therefore requiring the double negative. And this is just too bad, because that sentence stinks.

Thus, my entire studying game has been thrown off and I cannot get off my English language soapbox. Therefore, I will share with you two of my biggest pet peeves:

- Formal writing with CONTRACTIONS!!!! Just the other day, I read a statement written by a candidate running for an office at my medical school. Is it terrible that I saw the contractions, immediately stopped reading, and voted for the other person?

- SUBJECT/VERB AGREEMENT. Having grown up in the "North," I developed a whole new love and appreciation for my 4th grade English teacher and good ole' subject/verb agreement when I moved to the "South" to teach high school and on the very first day of class, the PRINCIPAL got on the loudspeaker and said phrases such as, "We was" and "They was".... NO, WE WAS NOT! THEY WAS NOT! 

If you, dear Reader, commonly do these things.... the English language would grant you great Karma if you stopped your crimes and became an English Language Law Abiding Citizen. (And all the Type A Weirdos -- me-- would be forever thankful!).

What do nerves sound like!?

In pediatrics, you get asked lots of questions, which have a wide range of correct answers, from the very basic to the very complicated. 

For example: what does a heart sound like? 

There are many answers for this, depending on your familiarity with the heart and it's many variations/murmus/etc.... boom boom..... lub dub...... lub click dub.... lub whooosh dub.... etc. etc. The list goes on.

What do lungs sound like?

A healthy lung really just sounds like breathing, amplified through the stethoscope. Unhealthy lungs may have rattles.... crackless... wheezes... etc. etc. The list goes on.

What do intestines sound like?

We've all heard this one... the low rumble... sometimes embarrassing high pitch squeal your tummy makes when you are starving...

What do nerves sound like?

This is a tricky one. What does a nerve sound like? Nerves? Do they make sounds?

YES, THEY DO! 

I will tell you what nerves sound like, as I discovered this a few days ago. 

The sound of nerves... is also the sound of terror... of awkwardness... of the unknown.

The sound of nerves...

...is the sound of an uncontrollably rattling speculum as you grab it for the first time and slowly advance towards your standardized patient in an attempt to give your first female pelvic exam. 

Upon speculum removal...  and successful examination: