"Can't you have a normal conversation with someone without over-analyzing it?"
"No, Mom, not really. It's currently my job to over-analyze things. I do it for at least 12 hours a day."
"What? Nevermind, fine. I will talk to you later, then."
Click.
I look down at my phone and I don't know who I'm more frustrated with - me, for apparently being socially awkward now; med school, for making me socially awkward; or my mom, for being right and making me realize what an ass I must have sounded like.
As I walk back to the med school, I start thinking about how I wasn't socially awkward - at least to this extreme - before med school. Which, in my over-analyzing manner, leads me to think of all of the other things I used to be better at before med school.
MATH.
I used to go into the grocery store, mentally keep a tab, and come within a dollar of the total, with tax, every time. I won the Math 24 competition and went to states every year from 4th to 8th grade. I was even the VP of Math Club in high school .... no judging here, guys, I got to miss three days of school every year.
Now, I see a math problem and I'm like ADDITION? DIVISION? WHAT? Where is my calculator!? They really expect me to write out long division??? Um, no. Skip question. Next.
I get back to my study room, where HSIL and PAMP (Meet them here!) are productinating (Productive Procrastination.... Facebook.... Email.... Netflix.... you know, the important things in life). I relay my frustration about my former awesome well-rounded self, and how I am pretty sure she is MIA now.
Me: It made me think of all the things I can't do anymore!
All: Math!
HSIL: Spelling!
PAMP: Real life!
HSIL: This weekend I think I am just going to catch up on life. That will be my plan.
PAMP: I had to pencil "Laundry" into my planner. What is this? When I have to pencil "laundry" into my schedule because otherwise I just won't remember to do it!?!
Me: Me too! It's the worst when you wake up and have to wear your white coat and realize that you needed to wash it but didn't have time.
PAMP: You wash your white coat?
Me: Yeah, I've washed it three times already.
HSIL: What are you doing in it that you need to wash it?
Me: You guys don't wash your white coats? I mean, I spilled coffee on it once. And then, the other two times it just kinda smelled like old me and needed washed.
PAMP: So, basically you just need to shower more.
HSIL: Hey! I have to pencil "showering" into my schedule every Wednesday night. I know I won't want to shower Thursday or before the test on Friday!
PAMP: Yeah. I guess I have to pencil "shaving" in the night before patient interactions.
Me: Last Sunday at the flag football game, I wore shorts and went to put on my cleats and OMG! It was "jungulous" down there!
PAMP (disgusted): Jungulous?
HSIL (empathetic) : I totally understand! I shaved for the first time in forever just so I could wear a dress to dinner with my parents on Saturday.
Me: I don't even remember the last time I shaved! Is it bad when I estimate those sort of things based on the last time I had a date? Which, when was the last time I had a date?!
And, that about sums up our lives. On a brighter note, we all have extremely complete, color-coded To Do Lists. As disorganized as our lives may seem, it is really all quite simple. We study. We study. We sleep when we can. We party on Friday. Even if that definition of party changes to "sleep" or "study some more." And then, we repeat. If we are lucky, we do laundry. Shower. Even shave. If we are lucky.
Only half kidding.
